that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I am naked and annoyed.
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