Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
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