Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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