Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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