good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
