"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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