In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize