oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
