New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
