So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
