Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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