I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
COCAINE IS GR8
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
