just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
