But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize