I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
