And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
