she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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