It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
