i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
the day after is always just damage control
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
