I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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