Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
