First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
