sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize