he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
