am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
