doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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