True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize