hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
