what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
