Soap is not a condiment
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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