He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize