walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
