Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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