Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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