So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I checked into jail on foursquare
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
