I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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