Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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