Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish you could order shots online.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
