did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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