did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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