I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
