porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
