I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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