you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
