Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
