Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I will be naked everywhere
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
