New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
