I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
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