smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
