Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
