You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
