dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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