Dual....:-)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
