my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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