seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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