We won't sleep together?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
