you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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