Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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